when i knew it.

felt so fxzked up when i get to know who it was.

how it looked like. i feel fxzked cos i know

theres a strong bonding between you and it before me.

oh great(?)

it, is better looking than me. i dont want to listen to

you or me. im just gonna do what i want.

i think it, takes you as someone very special.

ah whatever laa.

th fat powerrr.

: D : D:D

hmm....what should i write?

Hello there, nadiah is so busy wth sch stuff and did nt update the blog for quite a long time...so nw i'm gonna update for her...first of all let me intro my self to all the readers,i'm nadiah bestfren in short they call it (bf).my age is below 20 but above 15 so ur all roughly guess k.

This is what happen to nadiah today,
morning went to sch wth cab and she paid her cab for $6 plus and then she met her fren at the busstop opposite blk 491 and went to sch wth him.so at sch when she was having her pe-physical education,she played basketball and than she been hit by the ball twice on her head,ouCh! hehe...she feel abit dizzy and than during Class time ard 2 plus she felt hungry even though during recess time she ate her lunch and she's still hungry... =) going back hm ard 5 plus she went to mac(near sch) wth suzzie,while walking there the cloud turn black and it's started to drizzling bit by bit and soon it's became heavier and heavier.so while eating and waiting for the rain to stop.suzzie sister pick her up wth an umbrella at the mac but than nadiah was scared tat it's nt enough to fit 3 person wth it.so suzzie and her sister left her and went back hm...so there she go alone and waiting for someone or anyone who can send her to the busstop where she usually take the bus.so there is 1 guy wearing all black picking her up wth a red umbrella and sent her to the busstop, hw sweet is tat guy can be?lols. and when she reach the busstop and try to look for tat guy just to thank him but than the guy dissappear. it's was like magic.she took a wrong bus otw hm just nw,she suppose to take 98 but than she took 99 and she stop at boon lay shopping centre to change bus and she took 240 to hm...atlast she reach hm...

tat's all i can write abt her for today...soon i'm going off for a "holiday for 5mth at an island" haha
and i'm sure she gonna miss me alot...Coz i'm her bestfren(bf).
tat's all for today folks,gd bye and have a gd nyte,day and present, be glad to god tat ur still alive...=) bye2 gd nyte and sweet dreams.

signing off...
Nadiah BestFren(bf)
Smile always =)

TURNING FUGLY 16.

happy birthday to me.

god bless whoever wishes me a happy birthday

im a happy girl who likes to forget about art. (haha)

i'm the one who exaggerate when i sing itsy-bitsy-spider in class.

i love everyone,have a nice day.

imagine this as my graduation song. oh it saddens.
(mcm lagu church pon ade.)hahaha

switched on to auto mode.

such a nice guy,too nice indeed.
feed me with curly fries,
buy me sweet things.
&accompany me to the polyclinic.

long long text i adore,
youre getting used to it.
make your text long long,
cos you know i like it.

peach tea peach tea,
im suppose to meet,
you today,
but i didnt

didnt make any paper planes today.
cos i think i shouldnt.
eventhough i liked it.
it says i shouldnt,
when im without you ):

i stayed at home.
i slept and doodle.
cos the reason is that,
ive learnt the lesson.

dont wait for my heart to miss you,
cos it will,
automatically.

mathem-a-tics madness

school is alright.confused over poa.
im out of sweets. ): my sweeties need them.
i saw harris during assembly today.pe je berg.
if i dont stop that habit,i knw ima die soon.
so if i did,every one gona forget me.right?
so far so good,im not in any bad mood,or mood swings.
i must admit,im the ugliest among all.sighs.
maybe its just that beauty thats been under the rug all along.
i need a new school bag now.nownownownow!
the canteen area is still small ):
i want something i dont expect for my birthday.
im dragging my soul to art.new movie called drag me to art?
im in mathematics madness and poa abit,abit like 5%?hahaha
i found a lost scrap of mine i written in 2009.will post it soon
i need to study and master circles. hahaha.

an absente from school.

a blog i shared with my friends.
http://a-heartwhispers.blogspot.com

nadiah is sick today,she didnt went to school.
nadiah is loving mathematics.
nadiah also went ha-ha with qistina.
nadiah had 2 stix from 8.
nadiah is currently having flu.
nadiah bathed her cat when her friends in school is having art lessons.

liposucktion is amazing,like magic!if you had it.

new school. new friends.problematic ones. fix friends. need to. bored. maisarah thought me solo molo. qistina is having a headache and shes my boyfriend. suzy the monitress again and my boyfriend. lyza went absent today. talked to azimimmy today. nadiah cut her fringe strangely. i want to learn boxing. so i can box firda anytime i want to. irwan added me back. nadiah will be moving again,jurong west blk 846. i like taman jurong. i want to kill the person who throws cat at marina. (even if saving you sends me to heaven) long skirt,long socks. i want to wax my leg. cos someone say that shaving is unhealthy.

ohhhhhh yes,another scrap ive written,
another letter of appericiation,and
dedication to you. this post is in large size text. idk why.

you need someone,
youre desperate.
to satisfy yourself,
in your bed.

im not a toy,
nor, im not heartless,
its just you that i,
dont want you to feel useless.

i tried to be nice,
when you tried to love.
i know that you dont love me,
thats why im hurt.

and there i was,
ive been fooled by you.
with your lustful words,
that made me left you.

so hell yeah,im sorry.
for leaving you.
because now i think,
youve found a new love too.

so yes,im leaving.
far away from you.
despite the distance,
which actually dont bother.
this is my goodbye,
this is my last words to you.

sweet smoke.

ill put one of my recent favourite song which describe what im writing. due to insufficient time. just listen to it. and overall, im more of a relax person. ill be back on saturday. love irwan.

drink redbull,
switch off my phone.
forget yesterday,
dont think about tomorow.
smoke with the wind,
cos im on my own.
the increasing sticks im getting,
forget love just to chill,

its like candy.

(actually theres more, but i deleted it. cos i think its too good to read at.)

12/24

im loving life. loving every moment i have. i need teachers to kick my ass and do my holiday assignment. i wish theres school during the months of holidays. like 8 - 1.30? its not like i dont like staying at home, its just that id rather go to school than staying at home. i need to wait till friday for love. its december allready. i hope theres a rise in my allowances. i wish i can put my cat inside my washingmachine. cos every morning when i wanted to bathe her, she'll go out of the house and lepak. and come back like after i feel lazy to bathe her. been cleaning the house like mad. these words run thru my mind suddenly. its like chemistry,physics,mathematics,art,history,mothertongue,social studies. poa? (drop it,please)
this holiday, its more of the reggae feeling, the cool wind.



and i love irwan and i love iwan
and i love wan also. hahaha.

love is in the air.

holidays kind of suck. hahaha i want to find another job. im not into studies right now. im into lecturing. so anyone that can lesture me chemistry/physics/history? and some practical math. felt different kind of love on tuesday. like tuesday, haha. and im growing fatter. let it be, i dont really exercise. from a box for 2 weeks its down for a week. i shitted just now and it feels great. i like my area, mostly if the morning is great, there'll be wind. and it smells so good. cos its the morning atsmosphere. i went out with my classmates yesterday, i wore a black porkpie hat, white skirt and a basic white tee with black graphics. lol. i dont know what to wear today. reggae is love now. hahaha.

happieozzie gimmiesome money !

and i love myself, yes. hahahaha.
oh have you eaten?
have you bathed?

cos i feel sleepy, meow~

One Love By Bob Marley

do you know what it feels like to be single? hahahha. diam la nad.
lets do some of my freaky-fun-but-true facts.

am i fat? obviously yes.
do i search for gold in public? like whenever im free, hahaha.
burp when im full? mostly (:
fart? when i really need to.
my weight right now? should be 62plus eh. been putting alot of weight.
obsessed with mucsles? yeah. hahaha

lego excursion to school.

so im now in school. i wouldnt be here if i didnt use the computer yesterday. ive, deleted most of my contacts, those who i knew from the internet. i just find that its just making my contacts in my sim card full, so i deleted them. its really up to myself now. theres almost no one i can turn into. now they're gone, gone with the wind in just a click. but im still here, listening to myself. i think i really need to buck all the way up to the max. secondary three have been one of the best years i ever had but i wasnt really contentrating on my studies. ill soon be attending tutions in early december. im using berg's headphone.

currently tuning into: Pills - The Perishers

nothing like you and me, they perish long ago.

life is great? i dont believe it. not even you would believe it. oh i love friends. i dont need to mention them do i? i find myself a loner. i turn to myself and ended up doing things that you wouldnt want to know. i feel alot like hope lost in myself. all those courage to study, all gone. ive been slacking when its near the end of the year when examinations are coming. i wonder why is this attitude in me is behaving like this now when theres may march jan and feb. its like october now and it sucks. siting on the chair doing examination paper. i want to sleep. even if im doing the paper, im doing it without sincere without heart. and without guts to put in effort to. its like ive lost something. like a kidney in me not functioning. ive got my last day for art and im not doing anything. why am i not scared of the day. it seems like its coming to an end. its all within me, that thick layer of skin like swine.

ive been waiting for this day.
the day when ill get what i want.
to get me sick, maybe really sick.
so they'll place me on the hospital bed.
with many people looking at me,
wondering that its their fault why im like this.
injured myself so i can regret and also love myself.
so everyone will love me.

raya feat school

d/o mr k.
my eldest sister, d/o mr k.
little sister and cousin

candid.

sexy

cute

was covering my pimpies

bored at home oh yeah im fat.

school have been (too)great. stayed back fr art yesterday. like all last min but completed yeah. then went back home. i got myself hungry. bought myself bigmac. eat alone, like a total loser. should have been out with kr but hes not free. ive got plans for 16oct but i want a backup plan in case. must have plan b. i dont care, i want boots for next year raya. i alr tell mommy a year earlier so she can standby th money ahahha. ill getting my haircut soon. one offical haircut from the hairdresser, wont be cutting it myself cos im tired. 23 oct please come fast, camp. size=4>ruzanna's birthday falls on 21 oct oi.

bad

im getting worse. im back to old. that black memories comming back.

im lazy to go to school. i want to get myself admitted to the hospital.

now i know, humor is the thing that sticks friend to me. not myself.

i want to delete blog. im bored. i dont even know what to do with the internet.

now, ill just update blog with just 4 lines. its easy to read and understand anw.

stomach cramp, flu.

ohhh love, i love you so much.

do you love me?

do you remember how many times ive been scratched?

do you remember who bathed you?

do you love me kitty? hahaha.

i take good precaution but im still hurt

looking at my family happiness graph, its going up and down, i dont feel right. ill be going to school tmr, like normal school days do. i miss school even theres lots lots of assignments to do. at home is just a bore. i ate dinner with kak zi, firda and wai mun and om nad hahaha.oh yeah guess what. when i was typing this, my dad came over and take a look at th compuper screen. i wonder if he saw that. if he did. my blog url will be changed if needed. haha. as i was saying. i ate dinner at kfc. hahaha. we had a chinese eating with us. hahaha. she so cute.
do you like to be pointed at? blamed for something that you didnt do? all the reason why because of a cause?
im not mad, no im not. was it all a misunderstanding? jealousy? am i lack of understanding that i need to understand?

oh yes it was, humor and sincerity.

berak cair

had a strange day on friday. nothing much. i had flag day today. its supposed to be at jp but i went to a market in jurong west which i feel much better. its a hot day. i talked to fit justnow. hahaa apr je. life is a bore. family is getting worse.and studies too.

teachers day

hehe, ive got 3rd in the teachers day poem thingg. thats random when i was in secondary one, they didnt give me chances when i was in secondary two. i couldnt be falling for anyone right? i mean how can i? ive lost trust in men, somehow didnt believe that young love last and worse, close my doors to love. oh anw, that two missing chocolate my siblings took them without my permission. when i asked my little sister wheres the another chocolate, she smiled with melted chocolate on her teeth. so i guess its pretty obvious where the chocolate goes to.

i thought of giving myself a break, giving myself a therapy = shopping. i dont like completing the square, math.

when im sad i eat. then ill wonder what youd think of me.
when im hyper,it means im happy, dont you destroy that happy thingg in me.
i always want to, but i never did.
to ask you a question, "what do you think of me"

all i think you would answer is, "youre ugly"
now that thing sticks to me. like plaque, i do see it.
humor is the reason why friends like me.
without it they'll leave me.

one more month 29/9

these days, i realised that im getting more and more committed to my school work but it isnt that good cos, its only a subject. not like most it. ive been leaving blogger cos i think theres nothing hideous to blog about. i dont really talk about school, cos school is pretty fine.

after staying back at school on friday, i went home. i got nothing better to other than surfing the net. i decided to cut my hair. its like a ritual for my soul. cutting my hair makes me feel light and calm. thats random.

i dont understand dad. you want us to stay at home everyday and eat dinner and do chores. we did. maybe you should learn how to communicate with your children. cos we dont understand whats worth staying at home when actually then situation is the same. we dont gather, no. only dinner time and thats it. i find it a boredom. such a boredom that theres not even something like watching a movie together or whatever.

its now, super mangkok. haha. life is unfair. ive been cheering people up, but im still some sort of unhappy-mad-happy-sad feeling, which keeps my mind twisting. that i think no one is going to cheer me up. only love lullaby can make me fall asleep. i dont know what to do tmr. i have superpowers too you know. a good hideous super power. no one can see it, its just my eyes and glasses and intelligence.

somehow, i find today's saturday the best of all. the best.

like flowers.

school is fine,fine than any other days i guess. laughters poems jokes 1100. ive gotten myself flexible with those i think ill never made friends with or even say hi to. except for the ones who have gone back to their country. i cant wait for ms nathan next episode hahaha. shes feeling rather angry and sad. but if you were to look on that smile and laughters on her face, she seemso fine like a colourfull butterfly. wednesdays and like thursdays,theres no change. oh how i wish you knew this. your love and everything gave me strength to myself. not to fool/fell in love or even trust men. thats more i like it. haha.

however, im hoping that anyone thats been in a relationship to last long cos even if one said no, deeply they'll say yes.

im here to correct.
im here to fix.
im just a friend,
that one day you wont need.
(im pretty sure)
im not angry, im not sad.
cos you and i know,
thats the fact.
GO
now, go with her,
cos shes yours forever.
you wont need tears to cry.
dont let it be like,
pearls that fell from the sky.
a cry that you'll remember for life.
SO
dont you regret my friend,
cos im still alive.
to make things right.
for you and her,
that i wished,
youre both together.

thats what i call, happy times

maybe its time. where ill go and change to my old self. all those bad habits that ive thrown, im missing it. even its bad, i miss it. where all those bad habits ive done had made me feel like myself and never lonely. its clearly not an addiction, but it seems that, that is what i love. all those time i had

ive done maths halfway cos i dont want to do it, i know its not a choice. nothing influence me in it, so how?