sweet smoke.

ill put one of my recent favourite song which describe what im writing. due to insufficient time. just listen to it. and overall, im more of a relax person. ill be back on saturday. love irwan.

drink redbull,
switch off my phone.
forget yesterday,
dont think about tomorow.
smoke with the wind,
cos im on my own.
the increasing sticks im getting,
forget love just to chill,

its like candy.

(actually theres more, but i deleted it. cos i think its too good to read at.)

12/24

im loving life. loving every moment i have. i need teachers to kick my ass and do my holiday assignment. i wish theres school during the months of holidays. like 8 - 1.30? its not like i dont like staying at home, its just that id rather go to school than staying at home. i need to wait till friday for love. its december allready. i hope theres a rise in my allowances. i wish i can put my cat inside my washingmachine. cos every morning when i wanted to bathe her, she'll go out of the house and lepak. and come back like after i feel lazy to bathe her. been cleaning the house like mad. these words run thru my mind suddenly. its like chemistry,physics,mathematics,art,history,mothertongue,social studies. poa? (drop it,please)
this holiday, its more of the reggae feeling, the cool wind.



and i love irwan and i love iwan
and i love wan also. hahaha.

love is in the air.

holidays kind of suck. hahaha i want to find another job. im not into studies right now. im into lecturing. so anyone that can lesture me chemistry/physics/history? and some practical math. felt different kind of love on tuesday. like tuesday, haha. and im growing fatter. let it be, i dont really exercise. from a box for 2 weeks its down for a week. i shitted just now and it feels great. i like my area, mostly if the morning is great, there'll be wind. and it smells so good. cos its the morning atsmosphere. i went out with my classmates yesterday, i wore a black porkpie hat, white skirt and a basic white tee with black graphics. lol. i dont know what to wear today. reggae is love now. hahaha.

happieozzie gimmiesome money !

and i love myself, yes. hahahaha.
oh have you eaten?
have you bathed?

cos i feel sleepy, meow~

One Love By Bob Marley

do you know what it feels like to be single? hahahha. diam la nad.
lets do some of my freaky-fun-but-true facts.

am i fat? obviously yes.
do i search for gold in public? like whenever im free, hahaha.
burp when im full? mostly (:
fart? when i really need to.
my weight right now? should be 62plus eh. been putting alot of weight.
obsessed with mucsles? yeah. hahaha

lego excursion to school.

so im now in school. i wouldnt be here if i didnt use the computer yesterday. ive, deleted most of my contacts, those who i knew from the internet. i just find that its just making my contacts in my sim card full, so i deleted them. its really up to myself now. theres almost no one i can turn into. now they're gone, gone with the wind in just a click. but im still here, listening to myself. i think i really need to buck all the way up to the max. secondary three have been one of the best years i ever had but i wasnt really contentrating on my studies. ill soon be attending tutions in early december. im using berg's headphone.

currently tuning into: Pills - The Perishers

nothing like you and me, they perish long ago.

life is great? i dont believe it. not even you would believe it. oh i love friends. i dont need to mention them do i? i find myself a loner. i turn to myself and ended up doing things that you wouldnt want to know. i feel alot like hope lost in myself. all those courage to study, all gone. ive been slacking when its near the end of the year when examinations are coming. i wonder why is this attitude in me is behaving like this now when theres may march jan and feb. its like october now and it sucks. siting on the chair doing examination paper. i want to sleep. even if im doing the paper, im doing it without sincere without heart. and without guts to put in effort to. its like ive lost something. like a kidney in me not functioning. ive got my last day for art and im not doing anything. why am i not scared of the day. it seems like its coming to an end. its all within me, that thick layer of skin like swine.

ive been waiting for this day.
the day when ill get what i want.
to get me sick, maybe really sick.
so they'll place me on the hospital bed.
with many people looking at me,
wondering that its their fault why im like this.
injured myself so i can regret and also love myself.
so everyone will love me.

raya feat school

d/o mr k.
my eldest sister, d/o mr k.
little sister and cousin

candid.

sexy

cute

was covering my pimpies

bored at home oh yeah im fat.

school have been (too)great. stayed back fr art yesterday. like all last min but completed yeah. then went back home. i got myself hungry. bought myself bigmac. eat alone, like a total loser. should have been out with kr but hes not free. ive got plans for 16oct but i want a backup plan in case. must have plan b. i dont care, i want boots for next year raya. i alr tell mommy a year earlier so she can standby th money ahahha. ill getting my haircut soon. one offical haircut from the hairdresser, wont be cutting it myself cos im tired. 23 oct please come fast, camp. size=4>ruzanna's birthday falls on 21 oct oi.

bad

im getting worse. im back to old. that black memories comming back.

im lazy to go to school. i want to get myself admitted to the hospital.

now i know, humor is the thing that sticks friend to me. not myself.

i want to delete blog. im bored. i dont even know what to do with the internet.

now, ill just update blog with just 4 lines. its easy to read and understand anw.

stomach cramp, flu.

ohhh love, i love you so much.

do you love me?

do you remember how many times ive been scratched?

do you remember who bathed you?

do you love me kitty? hahaha.

i take good precaution but im still hurt

looking at my family happiness graph, its going up and down, i dont feel right. ill be going to school tmr, like normal school days do. i miss school even theres lots lots of assignments to do. at home is just a bore. i ate dinner with kak zi, firda and wai mun and om nad hahaha.oh yeah guess what. when i was typing this, my dad came over and take a look at th compuper screen. i wonder if he saw that. if he did. my blog url will be changed if needed. haha. as i was saying. i ate dinner at kfc. hahaha. we had a chinese eating with us. hahaha. she so cute.
do you like to be pointed at? blamed for something that you didnt do? all the reason why because of a cause?
im not mad, no im not. was it all a misunderstanding? jealousy? am i lack of understanding that i need to understand?

oh yes it was, humor and sincerity.

berak cair

had a strange day on friday. nothing much. i had flag day today. its supposed to be at jp but i went to a market in jurong west which i feel much better. its a hot day. i talked to fit justnow. hahaa apr je. life is a bore. family is getting worse.and studies too.

teachers day

hehe, ive got 3rd in the teachers day poem thingg. thats random when i was in secondary one, they didnt give me chances when i was in secondary two. i couldnt be falling for anyone right? i mean how can i? ive lost trust in men, somehow didnt believe that young love last and worse, close my doors to love. oh anw, that two missing chocolate my siblings took them without my permission. when i asked my little sister wheres the another chocolate, she smiled with melted chocolate on her teeth. so i guess its pretty obvious where the chocolate goes to.

i thought of giving myself a break, giving myself a therapy = shopping. i dont like completing the square, math.

when im sad i eat. then ill wonder what youd think of me.
when im hyper,it means im happy, dont you destroy that happy thingg in me.
i always want to, but i never did.
to ask you a question, "what do you think of me"

all i think you would answer is, "youre ugly"
now that thing sticks to me. like plaque, i do see it.
humor is the reason why friends like me.
without it they'll leave me.

one more month 29/9

these days, i realised that im getting more and more committed to my school work but it isnt that good cos, its only a subject. not like most it. ive been leaving blogger cos i think theres nothing hideous to blog about. i dont really talk about school, cos school is pretty fine.

after staying back at school on friday, i went home. i got nothing better to other than surfing the net. i decided to cut my hair. its like a ritual for my soul. cutting my hair makes me feel light and calm. thats random.

i dont understand dad. you want us to stay at home everyday and eat dinner and do chores. we did. maybe you should learn how to communicate with your children. cos we dont understand whats worth staying at home when actually then situation is the same. we dont gather, no. only dinner time and thats it. i find it a boredom. such a boredom that theres not even something like watching a movie together or whatever.

its now, super mangkok. haha. life is unfair. ive been cheering people up, but im still some sort of unhappy-mad-happy-sad feeling, which keeps my mind twisting. that i think no one is going to cheer me up. only love lullaby can make me fall asleep. i dont know what to do tmr. i have superpowers too you know. a good hideous super power. no one can see it, its just my eyes and glasses and intelligence.

somehow, i find today's saturday the best of all. the best.

like flowers.

school is fine,fine than any other days i guess. laughters poems jokes 1100. ive gotten myself flexible with those i think ill never made friends with or even say hi to. except for the ones who have gone back to their country. i cant wait for ms nathan next episode hahaha. shes feeling rather angry and sad. but if you were to look on that smile and laughters on her face, she seemso fine like a colourfull butterfly. wednesdays and like thursdays,theres no change. oh how i wish you knew this. your love and everything gave me strength to myself. not to fool/fell in love or even trust men. thats more i like it. haha.

however, im hoping that anyone thats been in a relationship to last long cos even if one said no, deeply they'll say yes.

im here to correct.
im here to fix.
im just a friend,
that one day you wont need.
(im pretty sure)
im not angry, im not sad.
cos you and i know,
thats the fact.
GO
now, go with her,
cos shes yours forever.
you wont need tears to cry.
dont let it be like,
pearls that fell from the sky.
a cry that you'll remember for life.
SO
dont you regret my friend,
cos im still alive.
to make things right.
for you and her,
that i wished,
youre both together.

thats what i call, happy times

maybe its time. where ill go and change to my old self. all those bad habits that ive thrown, im missing it. even its bad, i miss it. where all those bad habits ive done had made me feel like myself and never lonely. its clearly not an addiction, but it seems that, that is what i love. all those time i had

ive done maths halfway cos i dont want to do it, i know its not a choice. nothing influence me in it, so how?

hand ache, currently in pain.

school is great on friday only eh, hahaha.
history, english, mt, mathematics.

history? japan, fasicm, democratic, failure, learnt from hitler.

mt? firdaus. (britney)

mathematics? (b)^2+4(a)(c)=D

fifah's torn skirt, 6th storey lane.

ruzanna's, nora's, ashikin's ass touched.

home, sleep, out, happy, you, sad.

meow's tail. mr. sun, get well soon!

happy birthday singapore !

so its national day celebration. i wanted to come but then i dont have any red shirt to go to school. i miss sec 2 celebration. its fun somehow. ill be going off to a long weekend in malaysia. starting from tonight. so gonna miss my butters from south park, hahaha. im soo gonna be a happy girl today. im gonna shout my heart out and shop. its been a long time since i went shoping with my own money. kfc spicy drumlets chicken looks tempting. and burgerking too. alah im always hungry. i wanted to take bus 7. cos it leads to orchard and singapore botanical gardens. my long weekend is the reason for my uncompleted homework haha.

and i miss abg fir. cos you didnt reply my recent text. my last text was the longest ive given to you. i must understand, work work work. and thats what you do. i miss talking on the phone with you getting your advises from you. and all. i dont call any other man my brother. only you the only one. i wanna treat you like my own. i miss you abg fir

who's gonna get sick next?

end of the one week MC. I'm going back to school. do you know how much i miss school? going up and down the stairs from level 1 to 6. its been better if i were to be in school. cos there's nothing much to be done at home i assure you. i mean there's a lot to do as in house chores and stuff. but you cant study alone do you? i cant. Ive accidentally deleted 95% of my songs in my mp3. how great can that be? now there's only like 24 of them. and now my sister is sick, it couldn't have been me spreading. its just spreading you know. it couldn't have been me cos we live different houses and we meet up only on weekends, so how can? this one week holidays, its really just me at home nothing much, lots lots of sleeping. most of the days, Ive lost my appetite on eating due to wisdom tooth and food taste much like my medicine, who wants that? its only 10 and my house is already dark. everyone is asleep already. I'm the next victim my bed is calling. no matter how much i hate school, its been school Ive been missing. its like no matter how much you hate a person, its that person you missed.

and yes, new friends are loved
lost friends are missed

this year color for hari raya, pink!

1 week mc

So theres a problem in blogger and soso. ive been strong for too long, strong from all those sickness. but now im weak. i could even cry anytime i want. i have to endure the pain before the fever like. my immune system kept fighting fever then lose. fever won, and it hurts. hurts so much, i cant breathe. one moment i felt like my heartbeat was too fast. one night, i had back pain, my only ear hurts as if my head is gonna blow. i cant sleep. every 30 minutes after i slept, i'll wake up. and i'll feel restless. my thigh hurts and so i walk like as if im 49 years old. i can even feel that my bones are gonna crack if i never take good care of them.

the next day i went to the doctor. it was the doctor who remembered me. i used to come to that clinic when im having asthma. its been 5,6 years i never went to oriental family clinic. paid my medicine and went to grandmas house. i received pills coloured in pink and yellow. sizes range from xs, s, m, l. i got to have so much rest, cos this pain is hurting me.

did 2.4 km run retest. results, passed.

Tuesday.

i lost my way to mac tj, with 98 on tuesday.
i want new tyres for my bike. i dont care!
dad bought himself (&us) a new car. my dad is crazy.
my mom is crazy abt the car and smth else.
i want new school bag, please.
i want a new book at popular bookstore.

you drove me to my religious class since 8 years old and till now still, driving me there, and drive me home. at that time, i knewure the best. when i was 9 you started paking me food to school. sometimes i didnt even eat it cause im ashamed of doing it infront of my friends. when i was 10 i had a parents meeting session. i was ashamed too. cause of what youre wearing. then all the years passed. imagine, all the best days, best birthdays of mine when i was young and then all gone after the years i lived. this isnt whati expected. but then life is always unfair. i appericiate but why. no, please. but if you really have to. then. theres nothing i can do. every motion you do, theres a clue. yes im sad. no i dont hate.

i heard my cat snoring, cute sound. haha!

(im hungry in actual fact.)

(no matter how bad you bite me, i still love you kittiy!)

went home straight yesterday, cos im werking at 3. called the store, and my name wasnt in the schedule. so i went to sleep. then at 6.30pm i went out and ate lunch+dinner at mac superbowl alone. waited for the right time to go jp. texted k,i,a,q. after finishing my meal, i went off to jp to meet q. we window shopped. then went home, before going home, went kedai cine. then went home. called a when im at home cos im bored.

wants:
1) that striking pink bag
2) eat chocolate, like no tmr.
3) that kube thinggy.
4) nasi briyani, cos im hungry!

absorbency, hahaha!

(is nadiah muscular or what? ahaha. its not mass. syazwani is like a mantis that nadiah wna eat.)

ive been good, i even tell my teacher the real reason why i didnt attend school cos i cant hide it anymore. ive been so stubborn, im doing things people wished i wouldnt. i had pe with S today. hahaha. i bet i can run alr. hahahha. i ate so many things today, this and that, chocolate fudge slice, lemon barley, junks junks. ive checked my weight. its still 62kg. told mom about my weight, she said, she weigh 69kg. whatever lah mom. haha.

my mommeh's height: 1.69cm
my mommeh's weight: 69kg
my height: 1.62cm

my weight: 62kg

(how cool?)

im missing someone, a friend.

how do i miss him?

cos of time, that flies.

and avoidency(?) is produced.

that brought(?) us apart.

as if we never see each other again.

and its sad. really really sad.

no paint to paint.

milk tea in the morning. the sky said, " ill be crying. " i didnt attend school, the reason is why? alah, you know this that this that? hahaha. mood for school isnt there. my art teachers is trying to make me come to sch. cos today theres art lesson for 2 hours and a papercut lesson. damn. nevermind, i can do my self ah ok? i wanted to paint my final piece but. theres no paint, no paint to paint. how? haha. i think i final piece look somehow wierd but the meaning is there. theme: flight. meaning: the act of fly, escape and stuff. i wanted to touch and try drums. ive been wanting but im not desperate ahaha. guitar lessons? ahaha am i like born not to learn it?
only one particular song will do.
just one. why, one?
cos ill play it for you, you?
yes just you, no one else gonna hear it.
just you and me. you'll hear me, singing.
ill sing till dawn, ill forget the world.
cos ive been waiting for that moment.
to come with you, top of the treehouse,
and the song, ill play and sing.
like thats the only song i know.

once upon a time, nadiah went cycling.

then nadiah fell down. then i got minor injuries.

i take a good look on my knee, it wasnt really bleeding.

but i know, i got bruises on my knee for you, haha.

tuesday's, friday's and saturday's

end of holidays, suck it. dont want to hear the word school/homeworks/teachers. overall it was ok. nothing much, just more laughing gas in class. even the dm's can make us laugh with his effortless words. monday schedule as per normal. still, home at four. can you imagine? 8am - 4pm, its only that i dont sleep,eat,shit in school. ive decided to work. because thats the only thing i can do other than cycling not very far, or sleep like a pig. might as well do something. tuesday's, friday's and saturday's. and so my life is going to change. i work, not the cause of family problems of money shortage, no. its just that i founf something to pour all my boredom hours left with studying after that. soon, ill not be free as always. and im sure ill miss more people.

nadiah's such places.

so ystd there'll be a party at three. damn, i havent finish my holidays assignment. when will i get to finish it? i feel dumb and numb everytime i see my assignment paper. im not in the right atmosphere to do it. haha. the party was ok? hahha, i got no mood for the lunch they prepared so i didnt ate them when i actually should. cos on th way home along taking 154 while reading my favourite book, i felt like i need a plastic bag to vomit. but i hold them down on my throat. today, the first morning, i texted fred. and slept back, then woke up, i cant talk. theres like flam in my throat? ahaha, then i have to swallow many many saliva just to talk. i cant believe i slept with a light pink mango tee. hahaha. nadiah nadiah.

eventually, fred wasnt his real name,
but it sounded better if fred was his real name.

all black buddy, k.

met k today, since he cant come here, why not i come to his place kan? i went to admiralty. left house at like 3.30 plus. i was wearing something real plain, long sleeves black strechable tee. cos it was raining and drizzling. im nearly finishing my book, the one im reading now. maybe im going to buy more books after finishing reading that one. i find it addictive. ate dinner with k. haha, it was my treat. baik kan? world seem so fine alahai, i like. then went home. reach about 8.15pm. then at 9pm went out again. haha then back at home at 9.30pm. so much of going out even its near. maybe i find it suffocating staying at home, the air didnt circulate with the fresher ones. and so my pussycat is sleeping inside my wardrobe, buat ape kan. cold agaknye. gonna have crew party tmr at king albert tmr. whohhhooooo~

decease of the young love, died in a tragic argument.

Feat. Dewey(?/!/.)

i bought the book that i wanted alr, its been a week its been with me and im reading it. another half to go. reading that book dont make me feel such a burden to read alot, i mean i cant believe it its even half. its so touching at certain parts. its just vicki myron stories that made me continue reading. went to work today and end at 1, then went home straight because my family is going karaoke. ahhhaa. its been a year since we didnt karaoke. its opposite hard rock cafe sg. every one get to sing at least like 5 songs? hahaha. i feel that i didnt get to choose my right song, when then last 5 minutes, i found stratovarious - black diamond. hahha. like my turn like that. cant sing well, cehhhhhhh, because the air con is too cool(?) ahahaha, so the not the correct word. i mean not appropriate. if the sun is smiling tmr, im gonna cycle again. same destination. jurong to alexandra alone. i better not tell anyone.

its my little(?) secret!

it was hard to let you go but i did.

i remember those times we had. i was foolish, very. typing all these may seem like one no big deal, but it is actually in fact. a problem shared is a problem halved right? after unsatisfaction(?) takes place when leaving you, i take control then you make it right. then i never see you again. it seems that every little things i do had to do something, making me remember you. and i always had. i hope youre happy now, with whatever you had. i want to say thanks to you, you gave me the guts to have faith in whatever i do. and i overcome it now, i feel very good after years of waiting for it to be demolished from. its just that it comes out more earlier now. because my friends started having them and it reminds me of myself during those days, trying on products to clear it, and now i did.

ive started writing(typing) paragraphs of my life by chapters. mostly it was saved as notes but when im typing my last touch ups for it to be saved, i pressed the red button. like damn. its been more then 2 times it happen, and every time i try to avoid it i cant. maybe i should start writing on papers. i hate it alot because i think, what i wrote is so good that i just unsaved them like that. such a waste of effort. those were like the best paragraphs of my life. and i decide to write on paper can make a big difference.

and Elton john turns 60 alr and he still sings. im into his tribute song to john Lennon a the beetles member, who died in an obsessed fan in front of his new york city apartment on December 8, 1980. Lennon and John were good friends.

ive been reminding people to have a great day and be happy because i am.

miss you(?)

drag me to hell ystd. its was fun. freaky granny kept popping out. hahaha. theres a some sort of scary movie comming, orphan? smth like that. hahha. got to go work today. i wish the holiday would expand another week, due to swine flu and my incomplete homeworks. haha.

crayons, color pencils

remember sesame street? that was mostly what i watch during those days before i went to school at 12.30pm. i still remember what inspired me to love art. on how crayons is made. watch is old video. it may be old, but it brong back those memories. alahai~

and see how faber castel is made, enjoy!

spoiled, condamned.

i dont know wheres all my wrongs and rights. not been thinking about this lately until one day. that one day. i dont even get it. im repeating the same thing again and again, not being able to change it, or even rotate it abit. im horrible, i know. hopeless, fat, ugly i know it all.

im trying to stop the habits. trying to look back at those sins ive made, its heavy. behind you, me, them, they. i dont know. what am i doing. i cant even catch up with my school work. and when i encounter a problem, i leave it, never be able to face it. i think im sick.

those who had a taste of me. thats not who i am, i just cant stop being someone who im not. im even getting used to it. wheres all those nadiah went? its hard. its just that im spoiled, totally.

1pm - 8pm

i think im getting used to the tiredness of working. checked schedule today. they told me im working from 2pm till 10pm tmr, but thank god not closing. then on sunday 8am till 4.30pm. pussycat is feeling better. (: im eating my legendary biscuit, biscuit marie. still the best one ever. had an off day on wed. went out with K (who is not my dad okay?). look on the bright side, life is nice. so welcome to my paradise. k looked so bulat from far. hahaha. k is always trying to be cute. im suppose to call k but why not talk about k here. hahaha. k ohh k ^^

pussycat dont like her stitch

fat girls just wanna have fun, they dont really care dont they? i mean i dont too. haha. so, went to get my typhoid injection today and then went to work. from 10am - 2pm. followed by a free fillet burger and small milo before going home. it wasnt so troublesome as i thought, because ive done that at home. eh, what you see on top is like nadiah d. d for duyung, uuugh. tmr, got art thinggy till 1.30pm then give myself a good rest before going to work at three.

2nd june 09: 8am - 9pm } school + work

meow~ ):

see that baby? shes under the recovering stage. she havent 'meow' yet. still a patient in the house. i miss playing with her. shes going to the animal clinic to get her bandages off tmr. went for interview today. it was nothing much. so im working tmr 9am - 1pm, because its closing early? (tak paham aku) other days im not sure about it. ive been wanting this book.

my injured pussycat

my cat is injured. she got involve in a fight yesterday morning which no one really saw what had happend. theres like bite marks on her left back leg. and a hole on her stomach. after school, i went straight home and change my clothes and take her to the vet. shes so fragile. if you touch any parts of her body which she didnt want you to, shell scratch you. by patience, i manage to get her in the basket and took a cab to the vet. then after waiting then pay and stuffs we went back and then go back there after 7.30. then after she reached home, she felt uneasy, uncomfortable and restless. which i cant stand to see her like that with her big red bandage on her stomach. which she felt angry with whats on her body made a scary sound out of it.

shes fine now, shes sleeping. it made me feel calm. and some parts of her body needs to be shaved to stiching. oh how sad.
i wish i was the one injured.

i feel good!

i did cycling today. under the solo category, i went chinese garden mrt, then west coast, then bukit merah (alexandra) how great can the feeling be? i dont even believe i did it, no one saw me doing it only myself and i. grandmother said, im gonna go slimmer soon since you know. i feel good. so. i swim every tuesday. i need cycling partners, damn. mommy dont let me go alone. so yeah. it took me 2 hours to alexandra and an hour home which i think is good. and i wonder how far is 40 km. (:

happy girl.

i want to be a happy girl, i dont want my fats no more ): that picture was taken yesterday, so its still new. so yuhua cc is organising a cycling trip and i think im gonna register it on monday. its only for 10 bucks with your own bike. whatever it is, i think its a must to join because i wont be alone and therell be people around me. i dont know if i should. i checked the recent cycling trip they had, its from yuhua cc to tuas 40km on 06 or 07 if im not wrong. i wonder is 40km like how far. heeh.

i dont feel alright

1) i feel good. why?
i went swimming for three straight days with 3 different people.

2) i think i feel sad. why?
because im not being myself, and then made up my mind to not use my phone for dont know few days?

3) what song am i listening to right now?
plain white t's - write you a song

4) but then i feel something is wrong. what is it?
things just dont go right at time. theres a situation where later he'll think that i dont care. when im trying to hold on going no where no. i just dont feel good, leave me alone for some time will you?

4) (a)why?
because i know its for my own good and maybe yours too. i wont forget you, i wont. i just want to have a time on my own, i still think of you. my heart still sing your name.

5) my hand hurts. why?
kitty bit me because she lost control of herself because shes mad.

5) (a)why? neighbour had a stray cat lingering outside their house and kitty took actions against it, level three, her territory.

5) (b)does it hurts?
yes. theres this part where she didnt scratch my skin, instead, she insert a little bit of force and did something to my flesh.

i prefer nerds ^^

thats dry ice inside the cup, its from swensens. the cake they bought for my cousin had dry ice around the ice cream cake. and yeah, what do you see on my face? pimples. yeah pimples. you may find it disgusting, yeah i know. it'll soon gone you know. someone is asking me out, to go swimming tmr(again). i wonder if i should. sa1 results is a big disappointment. ill have to fuck up my studies. i saw gabriel's jubo eating his pants. and to dear friend, your pimples will soon be lost. it only need some time and believe. ive gone it through, so dont worry.

saw my cat watching the television.

i guess, i really love her. i woke up late.
had my breakfast early. i bathed late today.
theres a birthday party. my cousin turned nine today.

pimples ):

ever seen a princess sleep?
haha. look at her, and me. i mean, im like a mother of an animal.

and i like it. hahaha. because she only need to bathe once every two weeks. she also alarm me when shes hungry. she have grown now but still on diet i think. shes not tremendously growing, shes only getting fiercer? day by day. oh and thats my house guard. if only i can get a video of me and her fighting. whenever shes really really jealous. shes like humans too. every time she gets angry, she gets more cuter. ok and fiercer?

i knew you're good. i knew i liked you. i knew how i feel.
but theres isn't any love. like a cup of coffee without its coffee.
its still progressing, i hope we're not breaking it. please.
i. try to make the best out of myself, and be proud.
you. dont try to fool me, because im not the one to be fooled with.
im. not a barbie with sexy clothes and petite face and feminine attitude.
because. thats not me.
if,only some days you'd accompany me home with the vanishing sun.
that will be a great ending to my day.
what am i writing?
stories of a cat owner fairytale.

how happy can i be?

exams over. yessssa! but not art. art lessons as usual like other mondays and fridays. now you wont find me with my bike together. we're not allowed to, due to some unusual things. i bet kitty got jealous when i went home with some other cat perfumes on me. i miss cycling, and you. why are you so cute? and im getting fatter. heee.

broken line, no communication, no.

09 May 2009

i love to make my story long when theres a straight way to understand it. life has been nearly unfair, theres lack of activities.
because lately im busy(?) how can i know?
if my father is really desperate to have dinner with the 3 of us everynight? or even present myself to my house other than doing something else? you've never understand. but how could, i. what more can i do, i mean, the only thing i can afford to do is just listen. how bad can it be?
i mean i dont talk to you, because i rather talk to a book and explain why. the book will listen right? if i were to talk to you would you want to listen and respect my opinion? the greatest thing ive had is the paper and pen. how can writing to a book be a better listener than you?
how can you? lack of attention to a child? i dont think ill do that if i have one. because theres a broken line that need to be mend.

mathematics paper to be done. and art exam is coming near and ive done nothing much on the concentrated theme. and i think im no longer using my phone. this came from myself. i mean theres a house phone right? because i just think that my parents will be more happier to see me with no phone and just more assignments on the table. theres more pimples today. i dont know why. i seem to be out of control, i can tolerate better with pimples than my parents. then there 'll be no communication.

oh sweetheart, i like you. but i guess its not my choice to choose right?
no.

been waken up by you. how great can it be?

the first thing i listened to, is your voice.

watched x men yesterday. at vivo. took 30.

mentos mint. long john silver. cheesy hot dogs. coke.
(BLISTERS)

it was great, wasnt it?

pink and black goggles

bought pink and black goggles. ate lunch at kfc jurong east swimming complex. waited for the rain to stop. waved goodbye to suzy. then, went to swim alone, the deep pool, cause i miss swimming. my thigh and arms are super tired due to breast stroke. should have some warmups before swimming, but i didnt. theres many banglas taking time off and i wonder why. why arnt they working? lol. took 98 home, the bus is like a tin of sardines full of people.

signed the treaty of versailles. an agreement to work at macdonalds during june holidays. i know im not under the FAS, financial. yeah but i think i used my parents money for granted and its time to feel the burden they felt when they worked. i found guilty of myself. its time to shutup and face it and feel that i deserve to get it.

asked my classmate is it wierd going swimming alone. majority said yes. still a no for me. im independent ey? cycling alone, home alone, swimming alone. whats next. oh i still got my day-night buddy.

gonna get my toy tmr, and none knows about this ^^

soxial studies and englixh

spread love before the paper started. i was giving the early birds sweets. heart shaped sweets, black current flavoured. how nice can i be? oh and i love mummy. wasted paper during examinations. i asked for more papers and made my own art lesson. cut fine lines through with pen knives. i dont care about the table anyway. but i had to throw it away ): ill make more soon and post it up. days' fine. just fine. i slept long enough to keep myself awake at night. so now, theres energy, its time to use it.

English: I'm hungry.
French: J'ai faim.
Italian: Sono affamato.

stronger stronger!

not like the other days. satisfaction? haha nadiah nadiah. so, social studies and poa. soso gonna fail poa. damn. i was late on the friday. lol. hahaha. hahaha rambot mangkokbawang.

only up for 2 weeks.

i spread bacteria during chemistry class, its everywhere on my hand. i fill up more than 5 litres to my washingmachine, and after a few mintues, its fkingly full. what i did was i had to scoop half of the water like 3 litres with a cup and fishing pail, i hope my mom didnt find this out. rafly spoiled a chair by making an renactment on masturbating, it my look disgusting but funny. i made a new friend, her name is biyan shes 13. im so excited about tonight movie on okto. les choristes on demand, for the second time.

im feeling my addiction for ciggarettes but im still holding on. im thinking of hangging this account, changes will be made, im up to something new. new pictures. im thinking to do something that can satisfy inner self, cause i find it bored, really really. im making friendster again, i dont even know why. gonna hang every account i have. going to delete all pictures. soon theres nothing that you can find about me on the net. only my msn is active.

renewing myspace, friendster, blog, facebook.
see you soon.

hansplast

my life isnt interesting so why not something not related to my life?

PIERCINGS! PIERCINGS! PIERCINGS!
I don't even know why, I want to talk about it.
(I'm weak, i don't pierce) Have your limit gone over or you think it's okay to have more? Some piercings in the world, didn't turn out nice but painful instead. The act of piercing is to show braveness and attraction obviously. Look it at a different point, if you would take piercings for beauty, then wheres your real beauty? Frankly speaking, I've been thinking of piercing. But why? I have my own hidden beauty. Everyone has one.
And not forgetting, Elaine Davidson the pierce goddess.

"So where do you wanna pierce?"

am i?

i dont think i want to blog. because theres nothing interesting to be talked about. internet will no longer be something we need, everyone will get bored with what we have one day, one day not now but soon that one day. went singapore expo john little mega sale, worth the 1 hour journey to and back. im fine with my world. i dont have anyone special, i treat everyone the same. i want to cycle from:
home - jurong lake park - the deeper jurong lake - chinese garden mrt - home in a shoter time. i get irritated easily when my mother kept asking me things i probably wont answer. theres nothing interesting in my life, so why must update? the more i look at boys, the longer im staying single. why?
cause you feel that they're yours and you thought that you belonged to someone then actually you dont. when the fact is that the reason is like what fuck im saying i dont understand. hahaha. im happy with self.

hey, i dont know whether i should delete this blog or what. i dont even know is there still readers out there reading. im busy with school work i think. i dont even have time to chat at times, the number of my internet friends is going down. and ive been not saving money recently, due to food. maybe i should start a systematic way to save and see the saving results if i save after 10 years. ive got this feeling. i dont know what i want. what i want i dont need. what i need i dont want. screw art. ca1 results is bad. i dont aim high, its not that i dont want you see. i just want to see myself improve. school is great? maybe just fine. i dont even understand why must i talk when the teacher is talking. i only realise it during chem. sec 3 camp up on june, shit. like why? sg locals not bad ey, somehow or maybe they can be like peterpan one day. hoho. i always feel im lack of something. but what is it?

those times we.

had integrated immersion school programme for 5 days its worth staying 5 days in philippine but not worth taking pictures of it. i feel great. im dead at home, bored, no one nothing at all. not worth thinking of going out, when you dont own a penny^^ cooked bread and cheese dipped with eggs. i think its gonna rain. philipinos look more like malay and chinese. hahaha. bought some stuffs for myself. chocolate oreo without pearl satu!

chubby cute boys

help me get my tummy fats go to my wrist can?

-sun eclipse
the sun eclipse was awsome. regret if you dont catch it. its making the move again on the 22 july if im not wrong, this time, indonesia will have the full view of it. it took me 4 shades to see it when science centre provides free eyewear to see the sun eclipse and it dosent look like 4 shades of mine. -.-"

-math quiz
failed math quiz. 9/25 is this good or what. sheeesh.

-my fats
errr, fats. ok fats. what? you said im keeping tyres around my stomach. fzck you.
haha.

-my pimples
ok, pimples. im feeling the change but i dont really can see it. but still to me its a big difference on the feel of the face. you cant really tell by the look of it. lol

-that feeling
im feeling the freedom in me. no more this and that. its all about the major crush in school which only one person that knows, and thats me. hahaha. i like school. because im surrounded by chubby cute boys in school.

on hiatus

what abang fir say is true. i dont even know why must i do like that. im not being myself these days. i dont even know why im rushing when i dont need to. i hope after this theres no more of shit. i need more friends, i dont care what type they are. id love to keep many things to keep me busy, other than blogging or even do my mspace or msn. having msn is not the worth if only i long in a year after. no-one need or even miss me. i know im nothing but atleast. i want to keep myself busy with school,family,friends,things that is link to future. this may also be the last time im blogging. not that i dont blog no more. ive been heavily influenced and i dont want that. anything text me: 81467231 thanks abang fir. still im looking forward to see you, i know ill wait. your the only brother i trust.haha i dont know if this post worth.
i find a place where i can feel pretty.
i find having a relationship is not the worth if theres a huge age gap,they'll never understand.
i find out that i dont want to be an absentee in school like last year.
i find my parents understanding.
i find whats not in me.
i find out that im not heartbroken or in love or any other feelings.
i find out that im still an anti social girl after 14 years.
i find that i dont mind people critise me, do whatever you want.
i find that people dont like me, but thats who i am.
i find that i love strict teachers, they're still the best.
i find out that i love art actually, like romeo and juliet falls in love.

anything text me: 81467231 will post another post soon.
maybe february 7th, my birthday.