Catch Fish for Javelin.

I went to Jurong Lake Park alone today, cycling for more than how many kilometeres ah, i dont count. And I met a lost turttle, first time laa kan i see turttle, then i carry him/her to a bush, because its drizzling, pity pity. then i met lizard j-walking infront of me. then just now, in school I met my regular friends.

perempuan,
kau pernah sedar tak yg kau ni tgh
makan orang lain nyer rezeki?
kau pikir kau siape nk mkn orang nye makanan?
mentang mentang tak ade orang tego kau tak brentikan kerje bodo kau pe?
kau pikir kau siape?
kau pikir kite ni sume slave kau pe sak?
nak lipat skirt pon tak agak agak pasal skirt kau londeh je, abeh pki bag kecik step bende kau sikit
je, da bawak fail, abes tu nk suro kawan kau pegang kan pe?

mari sini mkn makanan aku ah siak, aku sound kau rabak rabak.
aku tau aku tak lawa ah kan, dngr dngr kau lawa pe,
lawa mcm bunge ros yg da mati. kau ngan adek kau same je.
aku sedar perangai aku macam sial, pikir perangai kau bagos sangat pe?
pikir due kali ah pompouan. nk jamma mknan
orang pon tak agak agak, air botol yg 3/4 boleh tadi 1/2 pe?
kau siape sak.
son of a bitch. dont ever think i dont know what you are trying to do, fucker.
cb.

And people, im going to make my nuttest decision ever. i decided to keep my hair long. i'll be not cutting my current hair till june. I exercise at home, and i sweat like how i was when pe end. anything contact me at my email address. then dot dot dot. im gona sleep, im tired of exercising today, cycling, running, helping mommy. heeee.
say hello say hello mates!

so, hello january.

firstly, i didnt attend school because i dont want to go. i am so, gonna die, if i come to school today. my teacher will send my name to dm, then dentention? wtf. ok. then i spring clean my room, only only my room. then mom got jealous. ahah. i even cleaned my bed sheet myself, then i dry clean outside at 11, and it was dry at around 3 or 4. (:

did some random blowing sessions with sarah. when i see those bubbles in the air, i was like, whoaaaaaaaa. then they pop, then i blow again. sigh, if only you were there. theres this father with his wife and their kid, watching at us. ahah. i want another new bottle of bubble, that i can hang around my neck. i dont care! ( ...... )

welcome sec ones, minahs as per normal, and some freaking people. new peers from indonesia. coool laa siol. and sitting partner, is sooo smalll though hes in the soccer, aahaha.people people.
ok byebye.

i was honest, im telling you, im sad.

i wasnt so happy of what i found out that someting. its isnt the tpoic about people, is about me. im so sad now. and wanna talk to someone, i dont know who. ask me in msn of you wanna know, its seriously confidential. my parents havent know it yet, i found it out more on the internet. shock shock shock. seriously not happy, but i got to live with it. oh god, less it less less, and gone. please. wasnt happy, not happy, sad.

piano and guitars on music lessons

school is back, and i lost a stack of literature holiday homework. i probably love guitars, even now the finger tips still hurts. i bought the yamaha piano pencil case. ok nevermind. i even set targets in mind of what i wanna do/achieve/prove. i want to be the top 7/6 in 2008. i make sure i get my electric guitar when im 16. and i must do well in history. create own band is one of my featured dreams.

i must look for my clone in the first day of school.
i must never be late for school.
i must never forget to biring termometer to school everyday.
i must never hate history.
i must never give up learning guitar.
i must not go out unless theres a CCA, guitar lessons, mug, or waste some time, heeeeeee~
i must not even hate people even hidayah.
i wanna be the best english talker in class.
i wanna be the best of the best out of mylself.
common eh, i know theres more. and ill continue blow bubbles. (:

im naive, i know. im so naive. hahaha.

bubbles pops and ill blow bubbles again.

damn, i dont like the way god set up things for me, his test are too heavy. im a girl, leading not so wonderful life. home, mother said that im useless. father said, something that i found im sentive to. sister said, im stupid because of something that cause the whole family to blame on me. outdoor, im shy to go out, because i aint preety and people will say things. classmates, i only save 2 contact numbers instead of 5. because i know i will never happen to remember all, and its no use too.

im an anti-social kid who stays up online and make friends. its much better. i mean they cant see me, and ill still stay up normal. sigh. i know i dont need things that i wanted, like others do. until my parents set up food on the table for me, from there is enough allready.

only stupid people says that he/she is rich. no one is rich. if someone reading this, and wanna argue, go ahead im just fine as hell. btw, $1.10 bubble bottle is fun. i got two. theres one that i can touch, and one that pops when meet the skin of my fingers.

christmas.

i watched Echanted today. and the last week of holidays are all about free online movies. so today, i watched hooligans. i mean the movie is tittled hooligans. and i just wish i can zap things in a snap because some irritating chinese who probably are not christians are making noises with the bicycle bells like bodo. in the 20's century, negative images is the main criteria. oh shit. and movies are bad. because they are infecting kids young minds faster then bacteria. ok, im done.

i hate hidayah
and love you

i decide to blog.
i went jp with maisarah and my sister today.
suddenly, i remember things, i supose not to.
and i like cry, on my guitar. cause i was searching for tabs.
ok thats all. damn.

hello sunshine

(i chase the dark clouds away)

the sun came out today, finally.
when the sun is shining, some stupid grey clouds are following.
i get frustrated with guitar strings. but since i love them, i sacrificed cutting my left hand nails just for the sake of the guitar. (i cut till like seriously short nails)
school is comming, and i must start mugging.
school, ah yeah, secondary two, were gonna learn how to play guitar, but i want to learn in advanced(: you know what i mean. i got some very cheerful indie songs to cheer. nice laa.
and i wanna look out for the best school bag for 2008. and on the first day of school, im gonna lookout for my clone, sec 1. wahaha. exciting kan.
and liyana, just come for this week stupud religious class. and bring hp, not books. i rule the rules.
and ayie, dont let me describe donuts to you.
and sarah, tabs tabs tabs tabs!
and amani, amani biler free, nak plan untok outing(:
and shahirah, gile korean Xp.
and syuhada, pwwweeeety!
and trademarks, another outing comming up.

firstly, i need to tell you people of trademarks that, i cant upload the pictures because the camera is not with me. ill update it somehow. 5 days without update. i thought of closing this blog down because i dont post much. probabbly depends on my mood. tell me good reasons why i should close this blog down or dont close this blog. (:
christmas is comming in 15 days fast. oh god, christmas mcm best gitu. Xp. and also got to lookout for " go to school material ". and im so excited to see the secondary one pupils. hahaha. gurantee lots of minahs. i ending this post, i told you im not gonna post much. ok? bye.

jealousy takes place whenever i see your msn private message.

i just got back, and now im blogging. the trip was shit. because many things happened, all starts from me. bought some things there. im lazy to post some pictures now. tomorow going out with the trademarks. oh weeeee.
i feel: stupid/angry/jealous/dead.

fuck you people

(look like a teacher, shit)

im off to port dickson for family outing/holidays.

ill not be taking my whatever shit religious oral exams on 3 & 4 december.

ill not be blogging, only tag. tag here and maybe i can reply when im there.

ill be missing my msn buddies/webcam partners/lame assholes/all

im away starting on sunday 2 december. yay~

malaysia is damn holy unsafe. hahaha

):

i saw your clone today.
i didnt smile today
i get scolded for not doing house chores
i watched a korean series
i felt dull today
i played with onions
i get my second letter from NUH.
i got many things to declare in mind.
i tell a friend of mine about this boy pants is currently looking super thight
im not in the mood yet chatting/blogging

ok bye.

why im bored.

i dont find myself active in any activities. im just waiting for my next family outing to port dickson. im bored because, i got nothing to do, i do alot of things to do but those just suit me at all. this holiday just get me outdoor, not indoor. i hate being at home, alone with my cat. because in my family, im in the second and im like an orphnage kid. house chores is given out unfairly. i got to do my stupid religious PSLE today. very shit. i came late and i got to sit just behind the door. cool or what siak sit behind the door. i just rock the house with my music. and i lost my specs twice a year. ahahaha. these olidays, many of my friends who wear contact lens catch an eye infection which is obviously due to the contact lens, scary sia.

im feeling : so potek/bored/mad/unhappy/happy/excited/stupid/go gugugaga

i'll roar right in your face till your skin is gone of your face with just my roar. (laughs)

and "oh! we are watching, animal porn Xp"

redbull for breakfast.

im so bored, i did some change onto my blogskin. people im seriously bored. and oh, about the trademarks outing, there will be 2 different days. one in november, one in december.

November.
avenue: jurong east

December.
avenue: town/bugis/esplanade

the date is not listed down because im in desperate need for your phone numbers, i mean any numbers that i can contact you. thankyou.
& carpark+animals(cat species)+music = me
idk why my nearby carpark have inspired me.
i love cats from the bottom of my heart.
music heals you know, even dangdut. ahahaha.

actually, psle is not a difficult paper. (: when i grow up, i wanna own my own lion/cats/white lion. but lion is dangerous. imagine theres some kids comming to my house for hari raya, and possible the lion is hungry because the lion cannot wait for the ketupat to cook, and decided to eat up some irritating/innocent small kids with baju kurung on. sigh. okay. i need to go bathe. i dont want to be a part of the CK, its actually cine kopet

people. nadd love dinosaurs, that also includes barney the purple dinosaur.
lets use our imagination people!

Albertosaurus = nadd/(timon)

I would like to represent Albertosaurus as myself because it is big and tall like me. big and tall like me oi. Albertosaurus is a canivore. meat eater(: It was a bipedal (walking on two legs) creature, with tiny two-fingered hands, and a massive head containing dozens of large sharp teeth. siakk, dozens siol. The first specimen discovered was a partial skull discovered in 1884. that is way way way way behind.

Maiasaura = sarah/(taugeh)

Currently because of the name. macam name maisarah laaa.

i'll be doing the rest tomorow or tonight. okayy. just wait.

-nadd love dino. dino dino dino wooooo!

im all alone in this room, i wanna run run away very far. very far like six feet under.
i messed up. im condamed. alone in this room, with the same clothes same shit attitude, with nothing to do, i wanna dig my grave. ive sacrificed much, but all those dosent worth. what worth? blood? life? ive tried so hard ive tried so hard to believe. but i dont. why. why. im one unfaithfull girl believe me.

dont trust me, im a liar. -once a liar, allways a liar.
dont be friends with me, im anti-social. -true.
dont follow me, im lost in this. -life
dont.
im now a fish living outside, without water. -im suffering
im like a girl who wake up and found herself in heaven. -wait for my death certificate.
damn.
i just wished i can go back time and delete you. delete. -like i dont know you.
and wished i have you earlier. and tottal it up to a year. - monthsary.
and a thousand needles poke to my eyes, so i can believe what i see
if this is life, i knew i wont live long.

(baby grace)

ok. i got nothing to blog about today. yesterday went to slack with a couple of friends. then went home. the picture above shows a skecth of baby grace, baby grace is not her real name though. my first impression when i saw, i was like. ohhhhh~
the face was quite scary. the fisherman who found this a week ago said that, " we will all pray that someone will identify this girl." find out more in www.msnbc.msn.com and search out for baby grace.
and this post will end with a short conversation.

apit s.w.a.t. : eh, kau tau aku mengirap ah dengan apek semalam.
iyan: ah? (laughs) asal sak?
apit s.w.a.t. : aku tau ar badan aku besar. die boleh tanye aku gini siol, "lu punya baju lu tempah pe?!" tu part aku da mcm, nk dudok atas kepale tu apek je.
iyan: ok baek.(laughing)
apit s.w.a.t. : die tanye aku lagi siol, "lu punya stokin pon lu tempah pa?!"
iyan: pit, da ah, cukop laa. aku da nk terbuang air ni, kau nmye pasal laa!

today.

• i had religious class. seriously boring. i talked with liyana about trademarks outing. funny okay.
• trademarks, bile mau jumpe?
• today i eat breakfast(:
• my neighbour moved.
• is fourth of november.
• i bet i grow shit at 5
• listening to we're coming back - Cock Sparrer
• im really really bored.
• my leg is tired

ok done.

(imy~ )

i went to sentosa today. and all i did, was to get my hands in the sand
like dough. i also did some of the sandy queh. ahaha~ got many non-singaporean.

i caught this little girl with bikini on. very cute. yellow polka dot bikini. then i do sand castle, this and that. and siloso got rocked by me, ahaha. then i go submerged my feet alone!
then decided to go home. get to vivo city by sentosa express. LJS for dinner.

got home by taking bus (bus 30).
on the way home, i and my sister bumped onto our parents. they are like going out, we are

like going home. felt tired.

because today, the planned was cancelled.

(senyuman lebarku)

ok, todays post.

i seriously got to type very fast.

i post because. i want to. Xp

i did nothing today, woke up late. and someone waited, hohoho. sorry.

im happy and sad. that i consider private. no one wanna know. and its over allready.

tomorow, need to cancel some of the thing in my blog. then maybe ill go out. with this stranger.

ahahaha. ni stranger cute oi. aku selalu cair~ heee. ok. maybe. will post again tomorow night.

bile die senyum. ohh ohh ohh. i consider, hottt ar eh. seriously and honestly.

i miss you alot. alot alot!

I don't want this moment
To ever endWhere every thing's nothing, without you
I wait here forever just to,
To see you smile'
Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

Through it all
I've made my mistakes
I'll stumble, and fall
But I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart, and soul
I'll hold on to this moment, you know
As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken
Forever, and now
And pieces of memories
Fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so

I won't let this go'
Cause it's true
I am nothing without you

On the streets, where I walked alone
With nowhere to goHave come to an end

I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart, and soul
I'll hold on to this moment, you know
As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of you're eyes
It falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of you're eyesIt falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find

What you will find
What you will find
What you will find
what you will find

I don't want this moment
To ever end
Where everything's nothing, without you

I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart, and soul
I'll hold on to this moment, you know
As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

I want you to know
With everything, I won't let this go
These words are my heart, and soul
I'll hold on to this moment, you know
As I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

was this the day, i got to remember those times i had.

with you singing under the void deck after school last year. damn~ that means alot. and the song.

(story of how i liked the song)

every night, i wasted batteries. listening to my sick mp3. i fall asleep after a song or two, then i realised, my mp3 beside me, i just grab the ear plug and plug in. i dont know why i plug in. then the time i plug in, this particular song came to the chorus part. then i played the song over again. over and over again, till now.

the song tittled: with me.

i wasnt quite okay with my school surroundings.
i never thought. id will find a friend like you
i never felt like before
i never sing with a friend like i never did with you.
i only see you smile from pictures.
or ill never see you smile like you did. cause we meet rarely.
but.
i remember, that graduation night i walked beside you and said something.
on how we used to, to talk about fathiah.
we use to meet at the usual place after school.
(all of these make me so emotional)
im now playing the song while typing these
i know.
that things have changed since then.

song: Yellow Submarine
by: The Beatles
year published: 1962
influence by: my untie

damn it. i want many things. well, i just found out little bastard is sometimes cute. ill post a video later. (in the video) she get mad when the microphone didnt turn up. and the hand, is my hand. i disturb her.

i'll get an award and im in the top 10. teacher asked whether my parents wanna come. i said no. im not proud on getting top 10 or whatever, im just feeling satisfy with myself. i knew my parents wouldnt come to see 'their' child getting an award walking on the stage. i felt down myself. crying. did my parents work too much and left their child school updates behind? what they wanted more.
im just like a child from the children who grew up with no parents.
mum just got home, and i wanna publish this and close the window, i dont want she to see my personal things without my permission.
bye.

went jalan raye today. did alot of things today. the best house, ashikin. friend put in two asam in my cocktail. i took it and put it back to the big bowl of the cocktail. and laugh. and then.yan, put one strange lime green asam to the kuah soto. style~~ i get inspired by the cat face. its like soooo, perfect. shes lying on my thighs. and i bet she went dizzy as the flash captured her picture. shes my friend cat. and also went to my enemys house today. i was like wooo~ this is your house? i still remember, p.e. we played scoccer street, ten girls.
five vs five : wearing slash vs. not wearing slash. she wanna act terror. kick the small ball like a cripple. i scored one. she scored none. you dont have skills, say it. dont try to act like you have. cause you'll never.

p/s:
chinese-eyes. satu bulan da tak jumpe. upcomming 5 months.
still loving you; nadd.